I Didn't Need To Hear That

You ever hear something or were told something you could have gone the rest of your life with out hearing. I had quite a few of these happen to me over the past week. One was that my sister was dilating 4 inches before birth. Could have gone three life times with out needing to hear that and probably should have ate my snack first before writing that.
Or you ever found out something that you were looking forward to having but ended up not getting it because of something that makes it a lot worse then not actually getting it in the first place. Yeah a lot of those lately.
Or you ever hear something that punches you in the gut with butterflies and makes you absolutely sick to your stomache, probably because of nerves or maybe its just me.
But God Darn never in my life could have words ever affected me than they do now. I think I'm getting soft when I was younger I couldn't give a fuck if the world ended tomorrow now I'm a nervous wreck over some words being sounded out.
Growing up or developing a conscious blows!!!!!!!!!

Its a Fucking Boy Yeah!!!!!!!!

Congrats to my sister and a healthy baby boy. I'm so proud of you Jos you have come a long way. Be a good mother alright and keep him away from the stuff that had influenced us into trouble. I will always be here for you and your son Cooper. I will also try my best from keeping Mario and Luigi from fucking with him all of the time (LOL).

Lincoln Logger

I work with some people who take some nasty smelling shits and especially this one guy. I work with this guy named Don Lincoln who lives in New Hampshire what is like a two hour drive away from our work. He is a huge drunk and nascar fan. He always wears shirts that are very inappropriate for work and has ripped jeans where you can see his yellow stained white undies and an ass cheek now and then. He is a good worker but he always complains and never does anything to fix it. Every morning for break he eats nothing but hot pockets and or microwavable dinners which are probably the major factor on his shit smells.
So here is the blog. I like to crap in nice and clean areas. Since I have worked on a farm I can shit about anywhere now so I am a lot better at getting comfortable for the number 2. But this man is so gross. First off he would pass out on the toilet. We have an automatic light switch that comes on when you come in and turns off 15 about 15 minutes after everyone leaves the bathroom so you have to be completely still if you stayed in the bathroom for the light to shut off.
I would come in the bathroom and the light would be off and he would be still shitting in one of the stall. I have actually timed him on an hour of him shitting. And the smell that comes from it is putrid. It doesn't smell like shit but something some evil Nazi scientist invented. Like it is not a human smell it smells like decaying flesh and turd and a curdled strawberry milk shake.
So after he is done and gone I would come in to use it and there would be his ass shavings (crinkled up shit stained dingle berries) all over the toilet seat and some ass hair. There would be crumpled up tissue paper on the side of the toilet on top of the heater (no idea what is contained in it) and the inside of the toilet bowl would be stained in areas where it is physically impossible to have your shit touch it unless you picked it up with your hands and spread it there.
He also has a thing for his supervisor because he feels the guy stole the job from him that he could have got. The guy has the smarts and understands every job process but for him to manage people when he is still drunk til lunch time and the fact you see his dick pop out from the rip in his pants I think played a major role in him not getting the job. So anyways his supervisor takes care of any of the facility's bathroom problems like clogged toilets.
This asshole would clog the toilet with toilet paper then shit on top of the toilet paper then flush it. So who ever tries to plunge it would have to stir up shit and splash it around in order to unclog the toilet. not to mention after he does this before someone would unclog it he would flush it so shitty water would overflow all over the toilet then all over the bathroom floor. I know it is him because one time I came in and he just must have flushed it because he was just chilling in front of the mirror picking his fingernails (probably getting out the shit crust) like nothing happened while the floor is covered with tanned shit water.
We nicknamed this problem Lincoln Logs naturally after him.

How Does She Wipe?

Say hello to the fattest bitch trying to be the world's fattest bitch. Donna Simpson, is trying to break the Guinness World Record of the heaviest flab which is currently at 1050 lbs (WOWWWWWWWWW). Right now that barn with a face weighs at 600 lbs and is working really hard at not working hard. There is a great logical explanation of why you don't want to put down a hamburger and diet - "I'm trying to break a World Record people. Now leave me alone I'm hungry!!!!!". But coming from this fat bitch's mouth it would probably sound like "Mrrrrr Arhggg GrRRR. Bacon and peanut butter and jelly sandwich ROAR!!!!!!".
But really what breaks my heart other then her sitting on my chest is the fact she has two kids. And they look horribly malnourished. The reason - they have a dumpster for a mother. Now in order to get as fat as she can she must spend over $750 a week on grocery's for herself not the two kids that must have got up and walked out of her vagina. And it gets better. How you ask? By the way she can afford that is having a web site where perverted men pay to watch her stuff her face. I can't really talk shit about that because that might not be my cup of pervertedness but I got some strange brew myself.
Well if your going to do something do it right and let this be a lesson to all you fat bastards out there - if your not trying to break the world record for weight then what the fuck are you doing with your life?

Just Can't Win

I’m starting to think that I just can’t win. I can get buy but no getting the gold for me. Recently I thought to be fully honest to the woman that I was supposed to be marrying. I figured that would be a good thing to do and tell a little bit about past relationships and such. WRONG!!!! Now she doesn’t want to get married. Talking with my friend she says that in the Vietnamese culture a woman doesn’t want to marry a man who has been with another woman. I thought it was 2010 but apparently in Vietnam it is 1910.
What the fuck!!?? Two years down the drain of no sex and relationships because I thought I was getting married. Fucking great the only one who made off of that was the porno company I have been subscribing to. Well better off now I guess then when I am three months deep into marriage and I have a woman going to have a nervous breakdown because I dicked somebody way before we met.
On top of that my cellar got flooded...again. So most likely I'm going have to tear it all down and get rid of any mold then rebuild. I can do it myself but what a bitch. Then I took one day off of work and I'm surprised nothing burnt down, because what I got as a response when I cam back was like something sure did. Well that is all I can complain about for now until next time.

Dam You Cigarettes

Well I have been addicted since god knows when. I started way before I jerked off and well that was a long long time ago. But what gets me the most about this addiction is that I quit for well over a year. Hell I hated them so much the stink of them would make me want to vomit. Then one day I was going through an ungodly amount of stress and I decided to pick them back up.
The crazy part was that when I picked them back up it was so gross smoking them again. I had to actually work through the bad taste in my mouth, high blood pressure, feeling nauseous, smelling like shit, wasting my money, and yellowing the crap out of my teeth for quite a while before I liked them again. Does this make any sense to anyone? Any other smokers out there that can relate or am I just a little off my rocker. I could have easily stopped once I smoked my first cigarette but something kept pushing me through all the gross stuff until finally now I can't quit them with out going through hell. So Dam you Cigarettes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is Honesty the Best Policy?

Well being a Buddhist comes with doing a lot of the teaching and practicing as well. And one is being honest. I will say this now - I will always lie to the law. This teaching of mine predates any Buddhist philosophy I started picking up. And well fuck the law and the people who enforce it – I will end with that.
So I have to be honest all the time and absolutely no lying. When I first started this it was a little hard and it was so funny because I realized all about the little shit that I would lie about. This is also a must that I have to do with beating alcoholism because lying and bullshiting is a trait that goes highly with alcoholics. So I started being honest with everything.
Well it has gotten me into a lot of shit. Because I had to tell my love that I am marrying soon about my past relationships and that I have had sexual relations as well. I had all good intentions in doing this mind you and I thought it would be better to let her know this before we get married then later down the road. I thought honesty was the best policy, well not in this case. She hasn’t talked to me in two weeks and the last time I did she said that she was very sad that I had lied to her. Go Fucking Figure.
Now there is being honest and being way to fucking honest. Or I should say speaking your mind honestly. If someone asks me if I was an alcoholic I would say yes – that is being honest. Then you have these people if you asked them if they were alcoholics they would say yes then follow it by how one time they sucked dick to get money to buy alcohol – that is speaking your mind honestly.
I believe people should be honest and not speaking their mind honest. You don’t have to lie but you can leave a lot of the truth out – please.

A Late Bloomer

Talk about hiting puberty late. This flower known to Buddhists as the Udambara is supposed to only bloom every 3,000 years. So far the only known recordings of this are from a Nun in China who found it under her washer machine, a farmer in China who found it growing on his pipes, and on a statue of the Buddha on his face. Pretty incredible I think plus I love any mystery when it comes to religions and science. Peace to the Gods!!!

Oh Obama You...

Well first before I get into this I don't give a fuck about politics. People always think that the president can change everything but he can't. Think of him as the guy who knows guys who can talk to guys to get the guys to change stuff. But it is those other guys (governors/senators/Illuminati) that actually say what the fuck goes. So the only time I would vote if it was perhaps against a man or woman who had a lot of similarity with Hitler.
But all things aside lets talk about Obama. Yeah hes the coolest president we ever had (mind you my man Clinton), yeah he is a great speaker, yeah hes black, yeah he's good shit. But all in all what the hell has he done so far. I don't see or feel shit. When people were voting for him and "roo haahing" every where I went it was like this guy was going to cure aids and kick cancer in the nuts. The amount of attention he gets is way more then a third boob.
I almost threw up on myself yesterday when there was a press conference where they talked about his overall health. Yep I said it his overall health. When the fuck did they give press conferences on the president's health. Jesus fuck poor Cheney would be on the television more than Oprah.
People were all concerned about his smoking and his cholesterol. Hey the man aint smoking crack you fucking nut jobs leave him be. Next where going to see a conference held around his stool samples and prostate results.
So I guess I must say if that is all there is to bitch about go Obama.