My Dog is Dead

Yes my dog is dead. We had to put him unexpectedly down last Christmas Eve, and on top of that it was his birthday. Poor bastard. And if anyone says putting down a dog through a Vet is humane well you didn't experience what I went through when we did it to my dog. First the poor dog knew and shit everywhere. Second the stuff they gave him must have not been enough because when they left the room so me and my mother could have a minute with him he started convulsing and his lips curled up. This was the saddest fucking thing I have ever experienced. I will never have a dog again and go through this shit again. I can't imagine what it must feel like when people lose their kids. I'm going to skip that feeling by getting my nuts snipped.
But all jokes aside it was pretty depressing. His head or his mental state was fine but his body couldn't take it no more. I wish I could have spent more time with him or been there for him a little more. I took his company for granted and "shooed" him away when ever he bothered me for some love. I feel like a big bag of shit stuffed into another big bag of shit.
So basically what I am trying to get at is don't take your loved ones for granted. Even when they are annoying as shit and you want to tell them to go fuck themselves. Because one day you may not be able to tell them to go fuck themselves ever again.