Thursday, August 5, 2010

Great

Well the Cambodian girl that I have been seeing does in fact like me. I couldn't tell from the first two dates. Well the first date I fell asleep while watching Salt (lol) and the second one wasn't really the greatest. But the third time is the charm right? Correct!!! Yeah I can tell that she digs me even though she is still putting on a "show" that she just seems interested I could tell that she LIKES THE KID!!
Sorry I was getting a little big chested there but this girl is awesome so fuckin Aye for me.
I do have to change my ways though. See I am a good person but I have a lot of bad apps. I don't drink anymore or do drugs but I still smoke pot occasionally. I do plan on quiting so this is not too big of a deal. I always wanted to become just plain old good and sober and I know with her it will help me a lot. Its funny how things like this work out. It makes you wonder but I don't want to get all spiritual on this.
But I got one problem - my double life. See no matter how good I am or have become I am still attracted to the bad side of life. I have always liked it and I'm afraid I always will. I have earned respect recently from some people who are some heavy hitters. I was asked to join them which I would love to do. One of my good friends that is already in it did not want me to but I know he is just looking out for me. See even if I don't join I will still be getting down with them. I can never see my friends get hurt and know there was a way I could have helped.
Now with that in knowledge the girl I am seeing does not like that lifestyle at all. She does know I am affiliated but doesn't know that I actually take part in it. I know it is time to grow up but there are some things that can't be explained fully to people who have never lived in this type of environment or are part of it. I'll just have to play it by gut I guess.