A New Beginging

Well I messed up a bit this weekend. I thought I was doing good controlling my liquer situation and unfortunately I am incapable. I did not do anything stupid other than DRIVE and holy shit if I were to have got caught I would be so so so fucked right now. Than on top of that I ended up consuming some paink killers which i should not have because I recently just have kicked them. I spent the next two days in depression.
But none of this was intentional and luckily the bastard who is watching over me turned a blind side. I am no longer stepping there. I don't care if I'm bored and if I do there will be a Korean women band waiting for me. But I have also met up with my soon to be family and had a great time yesterday. You know somethings don't work out, some people call me stupid for venturing down this path I'm going to take but you know what? I'm fucking happy. I felt good around them. I don't have to be high or drunk but just be sober and shoot the shit. I hope and man do I really hope what is going to happen is true and there is no facade.
I have grew up with all kinds of people and lived many lives. I met more dirtbags then actual good people. How this situation started little sneaky I do admit. But how the ball has started rolling I think I know why it happened and I think the other individual had no idea that I am what you see and if anything I'm better.
I like to believe there is good out there and that there is something special. Why do we always have to "make sure" or "watch out"? Why do we always have to look at people a second way? I know because I have lived a life where this is nescassary and its too dam bad. I have been following "some what" of a path of a Buddha lol. And I know we should not do good and respect something in return. lol this is my pickle lol